Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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