Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I need water and some morals
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
tell me about the eggs
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