he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
