the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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