yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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