I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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