Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
