Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
