Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
