she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
