am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
