Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
