Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
