so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
