Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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