Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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