Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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