The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
