Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
