Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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