butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My penis needs a shock collar
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
