The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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