i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
