he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
