Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Everything about him screamed your future.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
