One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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