i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
