420 ftw
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
