This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
