Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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