My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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