McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
