You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
