So drunk, too bad you don't want this
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
