I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
