just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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