she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
