can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
