the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
