he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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