areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
