And the cops told us we were all naked.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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