i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
