the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
