# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
