if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
