just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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