So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
