the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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