remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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