this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
